Written by Kate Zourkas
In the book Finding Your Inner Resilience we talk a lot about the importance of being resilient and why it matters. To us, resilience acts like an anchor during a storm so that you don’t get tossed around at will. Rather, it keep you steady and grounded so that you are in the best position to manage life’s challenges. Sounds easy, right?
So why is it then that sometimes we don’t’ feel resilient? Why is it that even when we feel like we are the most resilient we get caught off guard and seem to lose our anchor?
In my learning, experience and teaching on resilience, I have found that it is in these moments where we truly display resilience. Resilience starts with taking responsibility and being authentic and true to who you are, it is not an easy task as we will get pushed to our limits.
Resilience means it’s ok to fall sometimes, it’s ok to take steps backwards, its ok to be vulnerable, its ok to be emotional, it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to feel embarrassed and it’s ok to feel alone. If we didn’t experience any of these we wouldn’t be human and the point is that we are human and we will have victim days as we go through challenges, this doesn’t mean that we are not resilient, it means that we need to take some time for self-care, self-kindness or ask for support from our tribe.
Life is a marathon and not a sprint. Self-growth and building inner strength takes work - These are all stepping stones to responding from the heart and while it is hard the more you learn the more you grow. At the end of the day it is about persevering through your challenge and finding your anchor points to steady you through. And remember it is ok to lose your shit for a moment, sometimes you need to release to let go and keep moving – it is all part of the process.
Challenges open us up so that we are raw and exposed, they damage our egos and our egos like to keep us in a state of fear to maintain control. However, I have found personally that it is these raw moments that create the greatest opportunity for growth, it is the authenticity inside ourselves that is pushing our ego out of the way so that we can develop inner strength and awareness. It is in these moments that we are responding from the heart and showing our authentic selves. I am a big fan on Brene Brown and love the comment that she makes about how we love everyone else to show vulnerability but then we don’t want to be vulnerable ourselves. Being resilient is accepting vulnerability and showing others your authentic self.
Authenticity and vulnerability will drive yourself to be great. Trust in the process and continue to show up as I personally think it is those moments when we do not think we are resilient, when we truly are resilient the most.