Written by Kate Zourkas
The book Finding Your Inner Resilience talks about the importance of being resilient, why it matters and what you can do to help yourself through life’s challenges. Resilience keeps you moving forward and yet at the same time it acts like an anchor during a storm so that you don’t get tossed around at will. Being resilient will keep you steady and grounded so that you are in the best position to manage life’s challenges. Sounds easy, right?
So why is it then that sometimes we don’t feel resilient? Why is it that even when we feel like we are the most resilient we get caught off guard and seem to lose our anchor?
In my learning, experience and teaching on resilience, I have found that it is in these moments where we truly display resilience. It is in the moments where we question ourselves and our experiences, where we are learning and growing as we are increasing our awareness and consciousness. Resilience starts with taking responsibility and being true to who you are. It is not an easy task as you will get pushed to your limits, you will have set backs and you will have repeat experiences all trying to teach you how to grow and heal.
Resilience means it’s okay to fall sometimes, it’s okay to take steps backwards, its okay to be vulnerable, its okay to be emotional, it’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to feel embarrassed and it’s okay to feel alone. If we didn’t experience any of these we wouldn’t be human and the point is that we are human and we will have victim days as we go through challenges, this doesn’t mean that we are not resilient, it means that we need to take some time for self-care, self-kindness or ask for support from our tribe – this is true inner strength.
Life is a marathon and not a sprint. Self-growth and building inner strength takes work - These are all stepping stones to responding from the heart and while it is hard the more you learn the more you grow. At the end of the day it is about persevering through your challenge and finding your anchor points to steady you through. And remember it is okay to lose your sh*t for a moment, sometimes you need to release to let go and keep moving – it is all part of the process.
Challenges open us up so that we are raw and exposed, they damage our egos and our egos like to keep us in a state of fear to maintain control. However, I have found personally that it is these raw moments that create the greatest opportunity for growth, it is the authenticity inside ourselves that is pushing our ego out of the way so that we can develop inner strength and awareness. It is in these moments that we are responding from the heart and showing our authentic selves. I am a big fan on Brene Brown and love the comment that she makes about how we want everyone else to show vulnerability but then we don’t want to be vulnerable ourselves. Being resilient is accepting vulnerability and showing others your authentic self, it is about increasing your level of self awareness and self acceptance which is all part of the growth and healing process.
Authenticity and vulnerability will drive you to be great. Trust in the process and continue to show up as I personally think it is those moments when we do not think we are resilient, when we truly are resilient the most.